I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
