all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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