I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I will be naked everywhere
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
