is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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