im drinking this country out of the recession.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
