3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
