...so i touched it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so let's talk penis.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That accounts for only three of the penises
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
