I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
