Heybabeimwearingurpanties
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
