found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
ugly people sure do ruin things
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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