We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
