Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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