If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
