You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
