I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
