Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
