Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
