This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
