i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize