FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
