did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i drank out of a bidet.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
