I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
