U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
