last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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