It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
