New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
