no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
