I'm lost and stupid without you.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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