sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
