Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
