I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
