so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
3 2 1 whiskey
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
