I hope mine doesn't look like that
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
