ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize