i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I will die if light touches me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
