You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
