If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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