Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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