"it" just moved
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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