Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
