Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
