We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize