Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
