Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize