i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
