the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
