There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
