Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
