guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
