Tell her she can't have a vagina
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
