I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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