my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
