She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
