is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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