I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
