they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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