I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
