I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
