One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
