I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
