If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
